The Meniere’s Game: Endolymphatic Shunt Surgery v. Gentamicin Treatment v Waiting it Out.

Just a short update to let everyone know that there are several things up in the air right now concerning the treatment of my Meniere’s Disease- the best possible case would be for it to burn itself out.

Meanwhile, there’s no place like home for the holidays!

Here is a picture of at Thanksgiving that my parents hosted this year – it was a change in tradition from our home, and it was lovely.

Please pray for continued patience for my family members – I know that I am driving them crazy.

The uncertainty of what will be going on each day, as well as some other adaptations that we are making, are annoying.

Was I drunk? Am I having surgery?

Sorry, I was just trying to be funny in my earlier post. Was coming out of an episode of vertigo (part of Meniere's) ..... this causes the world to spin so that I cannot walk straight (if at all)- picture yourself alone at home and needing to use the restroom with the floor dropping from underneath you and the walls moving around...... you crawl.... :)

Often I don't think straight or use good judgment. Hence, my post.

Anyway, I don't drink. It's a funny state to be in.... but not too pleasant. That was Tuesday that it started. Now it is Thursday afternoon and I am feeling just a little dizzy but much better. I'll nap off and on for the next day or two, and feel great then. Then another will hit.

Yes, I will have surgery. Just waiting for insurance and scheduling.

Thanks for caring.

Headline: Drunken Librarian Staggers Home Between Sober College Daughter and Friends

Ha. I am sure that is what the neighbors thought yesterday evening.
I had a wonderful evening with Abby- had a manicure and pedicure together, then dinner at PF Chang's.

Talked about life, liberty, and the pursuit of seeking God's will.

Had a lovely time, and drank not a bit of alcohol.

Dropped beautiful Abby off at Lancer Arms apartments, and was driving through Cal Baptist (which you all know is not all that large). Realized that things were not quite right in my head. Pulled into a spot in front of the cottages, called for Rachel and her friends to drive my car home and follow in another car to take themselves back to CBU.

When we got to my house, Rachel and Jillian propped me between them. It was all laughter as I was just like a drunken sailor weaving my way up the walkway and barely staying upright. Had a real fun spin cycle all night... and a slow recovery this afternoon. I'm typing like crazy, thinnking it might me coming on again.

Seriously, though, this is getting a little inconvenient. And that episode came on a little abruptly. Thanks goodness for friends to help. And for laughter to make things more cheerful.

Crazy times and fun, too!

Just getting ready to immerse myself deep into the worst part of this Meniere's thing. But it is just silly, and not life threatening. Thankfully, now I know how to predict the episodes of vertigo - and there is one coming. Woke up rather on the late side this morning with the knowledge, so made the pumpkin muffins for my home-from-college daughter; washed some fruit, threw in a load of kitchen towels, napkins and such; did a few e-mail things, and got myself comfortable. (PocketPC and Cell phone with MP3 files...... loaded with praise music, inspirational books, and downloaded sermons, because I'm in and out and can't follow a plot...)

Now I'm ready to settle into my 8 to 20ish hours of vertigo--can't predict how many. Whirly, twirly spin cycle, I'm almost ready for you. Reminds me of the song "The world is spinning, spinning, spinning, its all for You, my all for You.....). Gotta download that one for the next time.

Just need my ginger ale and saltines.

Last time was Sunday, today is Friday. They are too frequent, and last too long. (My doctor is very impressed with me :) ). But I'm getting plenty of beauty sleep. And this one will be over in time for tomorrow's neighborhood cleanup by the homeless shelter. Yay for good timing! Boo for missing our planned family excursion to Long Beach today to check out Little Cambodia. But I guess that will still be there the next time we get together. Yep, just enjoy today for what it is. A time of whirly twirly spin cycle.

Should I be on restriction from grocery shopping (or any shopping?)

I've scared myself again. Those of you who are close to me know that my life has been changing lately. I keep saying that "this is just silly" or "it's just annoying" and "it's not life threatening" and then laugh and go on and talk about something or someone else.
But seriously. I had my detailed store list, as well as a list of errands to run. Just a few. Pharmacy - drop off for me, then return and pick up for me and one other family member after doing other errands. TJs to pick up some groceries and some flowers (the flowers were the ones that Jeff's mom is giving my mom tomorrow at dinner). Gottschalks to return a pair of shoes- did not really need them, and can use the money to buy some books to send to the Lewis family in Cambodia. Grove Grille to pick up Banana Cream Pie that I ordered when I read an e-mail a couple of days ago about the great pies that were going to be there. -- Okay. Not such a long list of errands. I even had the list of groceries in hand because I tend to be forgetful these days.

Dropped off the prescription. Shopped at TraderJoes. When the clerk said the total was $238 and some change, I was very surprised and said so to the friendly guy totaling things up. Like, almost- falling- down- we've-never-spent-over-about-120-if -we- are- feeding- the- entire- clan- how- could- the- total- be- twice- what-I-thought-it-would-be" surprised. He remarked that I had sure purchased a whole bunch of duplicates of things. And he's right. Look at the picture. These are just some of the things that I felt I needed more than one of.

Everyone does need three bags of premade pizza dough, right? Or how about 3 boxes of pumpkin baking mix, 2 -3 pack strips of yeast......

I called Jeff at his work when I was loading things into the car to tell him. He was a little puzzled (that is much more than we've ever spent at that store..... twice the amount. On a month that we have friends and kids and no worries). He asked if I meant to buy duplicates and triplicates. The thing is, I do not know. He did not get mad. He just reminded me that I have not been feeling well, and am forgetful sometimes, and that we can always give the extras away. He also reminded me that a good friend raided our refrigerator for another friend who needed food a few days ago, so maybe that will happen again so we'll have plenty to give away. I'm blessed to have Jeff.

But I don't want to be a crazy old lady. I had always pictured myself growing old gracefully, with a certain air of decorum about me. Not having people worrying and hovering. This is also taking a toll on my self confidence. I came home. I guess I need to venture out to finish out the list before the traffic gets too bad. Perhaps I'll head up the hill for the pie first. Repeat after me, we only need one pie.

22 hours

The vertigo was 22 hours by my reckoning, over 24 by Jeff's. Then it took a day to sleep and rest up and regain my balance. By Saturday night I was walking around normally and felt much better, and by late Sunday afternoon I could drive again. I'm still pretty tired out, just as you would be after having the flu for a number of days, and feel dizzy, but the confused feeling and memory loss is much better. My next doctor's appointment is Tuesday, so please pray about wisdom for the proper treatment. The next treatment that this doctor wishes to do will destroy the semicircular canals in my left ear permanently.

It's here again

I've refrained from making this a diary or an update of my health....has led me to realize that some don't understand what is going on. I don't share this so you'll feel sorry, because I'm not in bad shape. It's just a nuisance. This might be interesting for some folks to understand why I am off work when it seems that I am looking so very fine. Last night, for example, I was at church and saw someone from my school site who mentioned that how great I was looking, would I be back soon? I'll provide some details about my day for those of you who are interested.... (nothing gross or too personal), but I want to put this down while still capable of typing straight. I'll probably need to come back for serious editing later, since this silly affliction wreaks temporary havoc with my thinking.

Yesterday (Wednesday) was a grand day. We will be having Rachel and some of her friends from college home Saturday evening for a home cooked meal and games. I'm looking forward to this, and trying to catch up a little on things around the house- and cleaned up one bathroom and the living room - even had Jacob around to help move furniture and do some heavy vacuuming and cobweb chasing. Not completely finished, but it looks so much better. Went to help with jr high (got there early since Jacob is working on a little video project which will be shown this weekend). Went to be early. I know that I was feeling great in terms of balance (was not using the walker) but my left ear felt very strange and I could not hear anything from it. There were more tinnitus sounds inside my head obscuring sounds that I could hear from my right side. When this is happening I usually just smile alot and do not participate in converstations - the constant need to ask for repeats drives me and those around me crazy :) .

This morning I dropped Jacob off and did some errands, picked Jacob up at lunch time and we visted my Dad in Magnolia convalescent. I mentioned to Jacob that I when I walk, the ground was shifting under me. He offered his arm for support, but things were not that bad. I was able to drive us home. By the time we go home and I walked to my bedroom, I was bumping into walls. Now I am on the couch. I can type one sentence at a time, then I need to close my eyes to rest them and refocus. When I open my eyes, the room spins for about a minute before settling down. I cannot walk - and if things progress as they have in the past, in a little while I will be in the middle of a full blown episode of vertigo. This means that the room constantly spins around me whether my eyes are open or closed. The last episode lasted from the time I woke up in the morning at 5:30 to when I went to sleep at 10:30 pm. Using the restroom is fun.... crawling if no one is around because I can't balance to walk, or if one of my big men is there, they half lean and carry me. Good thing my men are strong. Makes me sick to the stomach at times.

So that is why I can't be at work. Not safe at any speed. And takes a few days to get myself back in shape.

I spend the time listening to nice praise music or audio books and thanking God for the things he has blessed me with. The time to be with family and friends. Reflection time

That's all i can stand to type. It it now 2:25p.m We'll see how long this lasts.

Inside Joke....

Spied some candy at the checkout counter - it fit into the theme of our lives. I couldn't resist buying a couple.

Won't eat them because of the flavor (hey candy manufacturer- we love chocolate, but it can bring on an attack, or so they say. Mine are random.)

Jacob and Jeff also rented one of Alfred Hitchcock's classic movies for us recently. Trying to keep to the theme. My silly supportive guys. Gotta love them!


The movie was interesting, but did no justice to the title. Come on, Jimmy Stewart's attacks lasted only 10 seconds. Where's the fun in that?

Now I am expecting Jeff to find some old music to have on an endless loop..... something about "I'm so dizzy, my head is spinning...." I'm sure he just hasn't thought about it yet. We'll see what other clever things they cook up. Pinwheels? Hmm. My family can be creative.....
I'm waiting....

"Must Remain Absolutely Still"

Virtual Meniere's.

This guy is amazing. Probably not as brilliant, compassionate, tenderhearted, and servant-minded as our own resident celebrative arts genius, but the product that this guy produced is impressive.

I bought his DVD and watched it today. Its pretty darn good. Made me feel comforted, in a sicko sort of way.

Ear bone connected to the eye bone

Funny how they are connected.

When reading on paper, dizziness sets in. Seem to do okay on da computer screen.

Life's been fun the past few months. Gone from Cambodia to New Mexico dramarama to heartbreak at home with a twist of clockwork orange thrown in.

Issues that are tough and downright touching are hitting the heart of this mom. In between dizziness and sleeping and lurking on blogs all over the place when I could, I've been listening to lots of churchy music, including Michael Card's "Hidden Face of God" on my phone. One of the songs talks about God waiting for us to worship Him in our wilderness while we are wounded- for He is wounded, too. Hit me between the eyes.

Not sure what will be happening the next few months. Will I be working? Will Jacob be forced to drive his mom around? And the mundage.....Will our house ever be cleaned? Why do we even have this house? We never have friends over.......The front yard is a mess; I have not done anything with the landscaping since March - and since I am the one that takes care of the these things, the front yard is so embarrassing. Dead plants that did not get watered all summer along the driveway. It is depressing.

I do not think that the living room has been vacuumed for months either.

And here I am. Too dizzy and tired to do much.

Wish we would make some changes in our life. Have wanted to for a while. Things that should be blessings are burdens.

Wobbliness

So, it seems that I will be called the Wobbly Librarian for a while. Maybe forever. I can't seem to walk straight. Nope. Haven't been to work since I was ushered off campus by my husband and principal on the first day of school. I am sure that the PTSA people thought that I was drunk. Sure looked like I was.

That was the day after I had ridden in the ambulance with Rachel to RCH because I could not stand up straight and everything was tilting around me when I was trying to find the right color of sheets in Ross. Kept bumping into things. Felt like I was going to fall down and faint and needed to put my head in the shopping cart on top of a pillow and roll myself to the front of the store. CAT scan in the hospital showed everything okay.

Did not want to miss the fun of the first day of school, so I went.

Was in quite a state within half an hour of looking up and down and back and forth.

MRIs and Audiograms. Good doctors talking to each other have hatched up what seems to be a plausible explanation. Meniere's Disease. Yep. Seems to fit.

I'll go back to work when I've had 7 days with no vertigo episode. (I am dizzy/wobbly most of the time- that does not count, and can't hear most of what is going on from my left ear - that does not count---- it is just the "room is spinning past when I open my eyes so I need to be flat on my back or I'll fall down" sensation that counts. And it happened Sunday night, which put me back to begin again.

I am learning to wait. And to be still. I get tired. I've been sleeping quite a bit.

I also feel silly. At home I can grab the furniture and walls to steady myself when walking around. But when I go places, I need a shopping cart or strong man, or the "little old lady" walker. That is bugging me. It is a pride thing. I was not ready to be a little old lady yet. But I really do need it, because I sort of start flopping around without it. Oh, well. I'll just need to make sure that I don't wear blue hair with the top of support hose rolled up but showing. Or any of those other things that come to mind.